Recently chilling data were published, in this case referring to the geographical area of the Basque Country: the number of complaints of parents towards their adolescent children by physical violence has multiplied in an alarming way in recent years, surpassing more than 400 annually. Unfortunately, it is not an isolated event and is a reflection of what has been happening throughout the country in a marked way in the last decade.
How to deal with a violent teenager
Adolescent violence in their family environment is often identified with impulsive behaviors without measure such as non-acceptance of norms and rules, intolerance and, in general, aggression exacerbated when they do not get what they want or how they want it.
This is a tremendously serious problem that, although it has a solution during adolescence, should have tried to alleviate previously. And in many cases during this period of adolescence, they will have to intervene in medical and psychological factors actively as key elements, whereas in earlier periods it would only have done so as a support element.
Why teenage violence?
Obviously there is no single reason. The first one that we have to take into account always, and that must be considered in any case, is the psychological or psychiatric disorders not attended or uncontrolled in childhood. From here, the most influential issues that derive in adolescent violence would be the following:
Parent- colleague and lack of limits: the evolution of rigid family discipline to a model of relationship that places the parents and the child at almost the same level that of the parent colleague usually generates a very permissive relationship model in which no limits are adopted. Limits and rules are necessary from the earliest age, not imposing them and not remarking the importance of compliance is a first step in misdirection regarding the behavior of the adolescent future.
The justification of character: as parents we have a tendency not to differentiate a possible temperament with the modeling of a character. Although not all specialists agree, generally the period is considered good until eight or nine years as the one that will forge the character of the person. This means that regardless of the temperament that shows, there is plenty of time to improve and of course to escape the “is that it is so” or “has a lot of character” with which to justify unjustifiable behavior.
Imitation: the physical and verbal violence of the adolescent can be perfectly achieved through an environment in which such violence has manifested itself in one way or another. It is not an exact imitation, that is, simply the use of verbal violence can be a starting point for violent teenage future.
Of course there are more options, it is not possible to associate exclusively with the above the development of a violent teenager. For example, the appearance of drugs or alcoholic beverages in adolescence may be another element that will significantly influence regardless of the model of education that has been received, although, closely linked to limits and permissiveness, either excessively or well by opposition.
What can be done?
Evidently, the first is prevention and prevention has to do without any doubt with education. It is necessary for parents to become aware that character modeling, acceptance of boundaries and rules and in general the basis of the education of the children falls on their parents, an education that must be complemented later in other areas such as The educational but absolutely not delegate exclusively in these areas.
In reference to the above, it should be pointed out that the establishment of rules and limits, although it may lead to different coercive environments (such as punishment for noncompliance), should generally be accompanied by strong communication links established with our children from practically Of their birth, ties that we should try to extend over time, since good communication is a fundamental basis of a good family relationship.
If the case where we are confronted with a situation that is already exploding, i.e. before a violent teenager, obviously the behavior of the parents must be forceful and immediate, not justify or consent to the first act of violence and automatically get in hand ( Together) of specialists with whom to deal with the subject.
All the experts agree that these episodes of adolescent violence do not start spontaneously but are resulting in a process in which parents are accepting the degree of violence exercised until it becomes unbearable, so it is basic to cut it in their own beginning and to go in search of professional help.